It seems so weird that I haven't updated this since December of 2007 but I guess I didn't really feel like updating people on the hard things that have happened in 2008. I know that this has been the hardest year of my life and I have really struggled with staying positive despite the death of my father. One of my best friends in the whole wide world. I loved him so much that it's been hard to be myself again, to just relax and live life. I never knew how hard it would be to walk through this world without him. He was a beacon of light and hope and energy that just ran through every inch of me. And not having him here breaks my heart a little every day.

As the season is now upon me here in New York I can't help but think about him. How he loved holidays. Not for the spectacle but for the chance to be with his family. He was all about that. Family meant everything to him. As I get older I realize more and more how right he is about everything. Not that I really doubted it before. Just believe more than I did in all the things he taught me. I love you Daddy. I love you with all my heart.

Lazy Christmas Card Writer

I normally don't do this or at least I don't admit it but this year, towards the end, I have just been sending holiday cards out to those that sent them to me. To be honest, I'm proud of myself for even sending them at all given the last two insane months I have had.

My mom and I were joking about sending an anti-holiday letter to people. I know, how ba-humbug of us but we thought it would be kind of funny. Something like the following:

Dear XXX,

2007 was a year filled with wonderment and happiness as K and G settled into living in New York and SLY turned 2 years old. We took many trips including one to the outer banks North Carolina with the whole P clan. K and G traveled to Spain, Mexico and many cities in between.

And then October came. J found out he had cancer again and it was a downward sucky spiral until the holidays. Merry effing Christmas.

I know, I know, harrible. But it would be pretty funny to send that out to people!

But seriously, cancer and other crazy family issues aside, I'm happy. I have a great life. I have a husband that I love very much, a job that is challenging me (sometimes too much), friends that I adore and what I consider to be one of the best families out there. I'm blessed and I know it. I know that I'm thankful for every day I get. And every day I have with my father, with my husband, with the deli guy who delivered my coffee and bagel to my front door this morning. I'm lucky and I haven't forgotten that.

But an anti-holiday letter would still freaking crack me up. Love, Me

Job is insane

I am trying to get my grip on this job so it's been hard to keep up here. At least I'm keeping up with my meditating every day. :)

Oh Christmas Tree!

What a weekend whirlwind! We had a friend's wedding this past weekend which meant a ton of fun but now I'm of course exhausted once again from my weekend. I need a day to recover from my weekend. The wedding was amazing though and it was of course great catching up with our friends. We had quite a few folks in from out of town so I feel like I got my fill of visitors.

We did finally get the tree trimmed yesterday evening and I made a yummy pasta dish with turkey sausage, penne, spinach, shallots and mushrooms. YUM! I'll take a picture of the tree tonight and get the photos from the wedding up for you.

Happy Friday!

I really enjoyed the meditation class last night. It was kind of cool since it's actually more analytical than I had anticipated. There was some meditation in it but it was also alot of the background on how to meditate and why one meditates. And the history of meditation which as you know I dig. I felt a little like I was back in school.

It was also interesting since this was the first time Jason Lamberth ever taught a class. He was really nervous but did a great job. It made me think of how hard and exciting that must be. He talked about how some people will leave this class wanting to spread the practice and I felt a little tingle thinking about how I would like to do that. Now I have to meditate for at least 5 minutes every day until the next class and document it in this journal. I'm excited!

Celebrate, Meditate!

I'm starting a new meditation class tonight that will run through the beginning of February. It's at this yoga studio near my house and the instructor Jason Lamberth is also a furniture designer. You can see his stuff here http://www.jasonlamberth.com/. I'm really looking forward to this since I always sleep better when I meditate.

We are also going to be having a steady stream of visitors over the next week or so. We had our friend D here from Texas last night and tomorrow R & E get here for a friend's wedding this weekend. It's a black tie affair and I have a fancy new dress to debut. G order his tux so we are going to be all spiffy this weekend. I'll be sure to post a pic afterwards.

New Leaf

I'm turning over a new more positive leaf today. Lately with everything that is going on with my family I have been just mopey mcmoperson and not really trying to pull myself out if it. I'm gaining weight and losing my spring in my step. And so far, neither one of those are making me feel better about what is happening. So I'm putting it out there to you universe that I'm taking this bad attitude and shoving it. Sunshine is back and you better get ready.

Starting Chemo Today

And so it begins again. Jack has his first chemotherapy treatment today. Everyone cross their fingers, toes, arms and legs for him. I'm happy that things are finally moving forward and I am hopeful as always that this will work again for him.

I feel like work for me has been pretty insane but then again, I do tend to focus on the things that I feel like I can control instead of what I'm really worrying about. But who doesn't do that?

Sorry...

I have been really horrible about keeping this up lately. I am re-committing to updating my blog at least once a week. It's just been a crazy month or so for me with the new job and we had some recent not so good news about Jack Bauer Perkins. I will fill those of you in that don't already know later but suffice to say that Jack's cancer is back which just means we have to get combat ready again. Nothing we can't handle since we have already been through it but it just makes for a stressful experience right now.

But we are all behind him and next to him and there for him. I love you Dad.

FULL MOON OR WHAT?

I'm just trying to figure out why I feel like I'm a werewolf or maybe I'm thinking of Jekyl and Hyde. It's just been one of those mornings or was it evenings? I just called this physician's office for work and the very nice receptionist said, "I think today is just a bad day for him to talk. Must be a full moon." Ha, I can relate to that.

On another note, I had my second massage class last night. Very very fun. We give a massage and get one in each class. I'll leave you with a quote from the teacher last night. This was in regards to how sometimes the strokes go against blood flow. "The reason why we break the rules sometimes is because it feels good."

T Minus Five Days

Until I leave my job and start a new one. I'm happy for sure. But sad too. You can't be in a relationship (work or personal) and not feel some sadness about it being over even if you know it's the right thing for you. While there have been good and bad things about my job, it has allowed me to do and live where I wanted on my terms. It let me be there for my family when my Dad was sick. It gave me my confidence back after working at the entertainment PR firm where I was beaten up emotionally.

So yes, of course I'm happy to move on to the next, better thing. But I'm sad to leave this behind. Sad that the one big thing other than my love for my friends in LA that held me there was this job. It let me see some of the people I love the most far more often than I would have if I just moved to NY with a new job. But I will be back there someday. I can never stay away too long. I have been talking a lot about how much I miss LA. I'm not sure if that will ever leave me. I still talk about missing VA and I haven't lived there permanently since I was 24.

I like to think that maybe someday G and I will move back to LA. Back to Hermosa. Who knows. It's not that farfetched. I know it would be hard to be far away from my family again but I also know that G is my family. And we will someday grow that family. So how can I have everything? Someone needs to convince my sister to move to CA and then I know my parents would follow. So I'm putting it out into the universe that my sister's husband get some awesome opportunity in CA to start his own gym. And then we will all move there. :)

My parents can live in Loyalton and come to LA whenever the winter weather gets too bad. They will always have somewhere to stay and get to enjoy seeing their grandchildren whenever they wish. Okay universe, get going.

Let the Games Begin!

Tomorrow is G's birthday so in honor of it we are having a sports lovers game fest. Tonight it's the Mets, tomorrow the Mets and then Sunday the Giants. I will gain 14 pounds but the birthday boy will be having the time of his life so that's all that matters. I'm looking forward to the fun though since it is going to be a beautiful fall weekend here in New York and I'll be outside most of the time. Tomorrow we are taking a water taxi to the stadium for the first time which I'm excited about.

Things at work have been busy but that's to be expected since I'm leaving. Only one more week! I can't believe I'm going to start a new job that will involve me coming back to the west coast quite a bit. But this time to San Francisco. Watch out!

I'm out of practice

Things have been so busy here lately that I haven't written in a looooong time. For those of you that are still checking, I gave notice at my job! I am still here for now but will be starting at another agency in mid-October. I'm really happy and looking forward to my new gig. I'm going to try to get back into writing here more regularly now that I have gotten past the hump of interviewing like a maniac.

G and I are heading to DC this weekend to visit friends and family. I'm so looking forward to relaxing and see my SLY.

Weight Loss Saga Continues

At least now I'm actually exercising. But still, the pounds are not peeling off as fast as I would like. I think my $10 contribution is turning into a donation. But my newfound excitement over saving money for some trips will certainly help curtail by going out and spending money on food. Plus this past week we have been getting back into cooking which has been lovely. I forget sometimes just how therapeutic cooking is for me. J was here this weekend and it was great catching up with her and taking her to Canal Street with the crazy purse people. We also went to see Rent which I really enjoyed. I'm happy that after over a year of living here I feel like I'm being better about taking advantage about where I live.

This weekend G and I are going out to LI to hit the beach with one of my friends from UVA. I am in need of some serious beach time and what better thing to do in 90 degree weather!

Good Ole' Virginia

I'm back this weekend for SLY's 2nd birthday. I can't quite believe she is already two! Time just flies. It was nice getting up this morning for a walk with my Dad. I love that I will be totally exhausted and sleep deprived and that makes no difference if it means I'll get to talk and walk with him. I'm a lucky daughter. I'm just working away today getting my stomach ready for Lebanese Taverna tonight. I have to be mindful of the weight loss challenge though. I have my next weigh in on Monday. ayiiiiieeeee!!!!

Weight Loss Challengers Unite!

My friends E & J have talked me in to participating in a weight loss challenge. Everyone in E's family is doing it too so I have thrown my hat in the ring. The incentive is whoever loses the most weight will win the pot of money. We all put in $10 so the pot is at $70. Not bad as far as I'm concerned. Rules of starvation do apply so you have to lose the weight in a healthy manner. So I guess I will leave the laxatives at home. har har. I just started today so I'll let you guys know how it goes. I have until mid-August and then the results are announced.

Sorry it's been so long!

It's been a busy few weeks. G and I went to Spain for my good friend M's wedding. Then I was just at our family reunion down in NC at the beach. I managed to spend some time with all my family and see my friend S a few of the nights which was great. All in all I have been spoiled with vacations and am now having a very tough time getting back into work. I'll manage somehow.

As for Spain, I cannot say enough how great of a time we had there. M's wedding was incredible but even more so was getting to see and experience Spain again. I had forgotten just how much I truly love the culture and lifestyle of that country. Sitting in a cafe having Manchego cheese, drinking vino tinto on the Plaza de Santa Ana, going topless in Conil. I think in my next life I need to be a Spanaird.

My family reunion was equally enjoyable since it's always nice to see all my cousins and immediate family. I spent a lot of time just soaking up SLY and seeing how fast she has grown. She is almost speaking in full sentences now which came as quite a shock from last month even. It all happens so fast. But that's life I suppose. We just have to remember to slow down every once in a while, sit in a cafe and enjoy the people walking by. I vow to do that more often moving forward.

Ah, wedded bliss. The anniversary weekend was incredible. G went all out. We went on this great cruise around the island of Manhattan seeing all the beautiful architecture while sipping on champagne and eating brunch. And then dinner. Let's just say I don't think amazing does it justice. I decided this morning that we should treat every day like it's our anniversary. So happy anniversary again honey. I love you.

Happy Almost One Year Anniversary!

June 10th is our one year wedding anniversary. Yes, we dated for 8 years before we got married, yes, we already passed the 7 year itch, yes, I still love him more than anyone in this universe and beyond. Thank you G for being a wonderful husband. I love you with all my heart.

I love you because:

- you love me despite and maybe because I'm crazy
- you still make the same jokes you did back in 1998 and I still laugh hysterically to the point of tears
- for some reason you believe in me no matter what, even when I'm being mopey and incapable of making choices in my career that I know are good for me
- you let me be the non-implentor
- you help me to relax (what does that word mean again?)
- you eat my cooking even when I have red-peppered something to death
- you are one of the funniest most sarcastic human beings on the planet but deep down you are all mushy just like me
- when we stand facing each other and I don't have heels on then I fit right underneath your chin
- you are warm and kind and all the things I could want in a husband
- you genuinely try to remember about putting the toilet seat down
- you always ask me if I want the booth side of the table at a restaurant
- you let me have the window seat on the plane
- you could get in a car with me going no particular direction and we don't have to talk we can just enjoy being with each other
- you are my other half
- you are all the things I wish I could be

Baby Baby Baby!

I'm back in NY now from what I like to think was a very successful baby shower thank you very much. And thank Mom very much. And thank everyone else who helped us put it all together. And thank H for getting pregnant so we have an excuse to get together to eat pink cupcakes! H looked radiant in her beautiful dress and got a lot of great gifts. I can't wait to see the baby's room now that she has all the fun bedding in it!

New York has been lovely the past few weeks. I have been enjoying that feeling spring brings of wanting to shed a layer of pounds and clothing. It's yet another fun thing about being on this coast again. This morning I was discussing some of the things that make NY well NY. Here are a few fun tidbits:

- if you are waiting in line, people in NY say you are "waiting ON-line" (mental note to not make fun of G anymore for saying this since he can't help it, it's how they do it here
- coffee regular - means you want coffee with milk and sugar
- when you get a bagel from H&H bagel you ask what is still waaaaahhhhhrm (insert accent)
- if you are a guy, no matter your age and you are purchasing something at a deli, coffee cart, etc. then your name is BOSS (how cool is that?)
- when you refer to a freeway you don't say the 405 like in LA or I-95 like in DC, you say it's name so it's The Van Wick or whatever

Once again proving I am a fountain of useless knowledge.